I think I've finally matured a little bit.
I don't feel sad about being single, like a lot of folks I know. Instead, I feel a little liberated.
I was talking to Cameron, and we agreed that if you play your cards right, you can get everything you need emotionally out of a friendship (you just can't have sex, which is sort of a small price to pay to be madly in love, without the drama or expectations). To be perfectly honest, I am madly in love with quite a few of my friends, but in a wholly platonic fashion. Mostly Cameron, though. I've never been more pleasantly affectionate towards another person. He's unbelievably sweet, without any sort of expectation. When I went to see him on Thursday, we started talking philosophy around 11pm, and we both fell asleep at 4 30am or so. He's so unbelievably intelligent, he's able to support his opinions entirely without getting belligerent,  raising his voice at all, or patronizing you.
He said the most clever thing about anarchism. "If they're resorting to vandalism and destruction of property, they're proving exactly why anarchism won't work. The people who work 9-5 everyday, take care of their families, live a clean life? They'll be the only people who could function in an anarchist society. Those other people, they see something they want but can't have : Anarchism, and they resort to destruction. If other people are free to behave like that without consequence of law, what happens when they want, say, your shoes?
Also, where are these people expecting to live? In the house that someone else built? They really expect people to actually let them live in their house? It won't happen."
So that is why I love Cameron.

In later news, I think I may start dressing as a boy, I'm sick of being a chick. The last two Honesty Box messages I've gotten have been "Your hair is hideous and you're hideous and you should die" and "you should wear a bra, lest you look dirty and weird, not sexy."
The second one pissed me off especially. Why would my main goal be to look sexy? Can't I want other things out of life? Why do I have to be constantly striving for attention simply because I'm a girl. The first one annoyed me too, as it was basically "ugly people should be euthanized". I don't think I'm ugly, I quite like myself, but if I were ugly, I don't see why it should bother anyone.
Hence, I will be a boy. They seem to have an easier time.

Oh yes, here we are.
I'm becoming a nun, partially for the store discount, but also so that I don't have to deal with males ever again.

MY GOD do I wish I could actually become a nun.

Dear Man Who Stole My Purse,
    You are very creepy. I think you had a dog, but I can't be sure.
    I am rather impressed that you managed to sneak up on me and take it without my knowledge. I really hope you weren't standing there watching us too long, as that would make you even creepier than was once hypothesized.
    I hope you enjoy the two tampons, the roll of toilet paper I was using for tissue (which I did sort of miss later), the undetermined number of balled up pieces of toilet paper I had blown my nose in, and the condom.
    Please put them to good use. Perhaps enact a shrine to the day you should have looked around in the grass and seen my mp3 players?

I am... displeased. I keep falling into the same old patterns, and then bemoaning my own bad luck. Clearly I need a change of pace, and fast.

It is on this day that I am truly a woman.
I now cease to be a child.
Because I now have a smutty, yet hilarious, story to tell.

101 Things I Love (Slightly) Less Than You
1. Chocolate
2. Puppies
3. Sunny D
4. Hair Dye
5. Nail Polish
6. Fast Moving Clouds
7. McDonalds After Staying Up All Night
8. Al Jolson
9. Frank Sinatra
10. George Clooney
11. The Smell Of skunk
12. The Spice Girls
13. Caffeine
14. White Roses
15. Ze Frank
16. Playing The Sims 2
17. Diet Pepsi
18. Butterflies
19. Scratching Itches
20. Eating Tacos
21. Penguins
22. Oranges
23. Reading Stupid Teen Romance Novels
24. Guitar Hero
25. Telling people that bodily functions are for the weak
26. Sleep
27. The Newborn Pigeons On My Balcony
28. Playing With Kittens
29. Making Bracelets
30. Wearing Hats
31. Playing With Play-Doh
32. Hanging Upside Down
33. Watching Television
34. Watching Television While Hanging Upside Down
35. Matching Socks
36. Listening To Stories
37. Finding The Cure For World Hunger
38. Tofurkey
39. Calling People Pansies
40. Riding The Subway
41. Pool Hopping
42. Listening To Regina Spektor
43. Chewing On Pen Caps
44. Demetri Martin
45. Zombies
46. Writing In Italics
47. Cutting My Hair
48. Quoting XKCD
49. Mixing Cuss Levels
50. When People Punch Spiders To Death
51. Dancing Like I'm On Fire
52. Mimes
53. Balloon Animals
54. Jean Jackets With Studded Lettering
55. ABBA
56. Rhetorical Questions
57. Baking Cookies
58. Movies With Subtitles
59. Post-It Notes
60. Explaining The Humour Out Of Jokes
61. Counting Backwards From 100
62. Holding My Breath
63. Talking In The Third Person
64. Nostalgia
65. Balancing A Spoon On My Nose
66. Wearing Pretty Skirts
67. Spinning In Circles Until I'm Dizzy
100. Cheating
101. Everything.

I love you. You're the best friend I've ever had.
If it someone crazy scientist told me I could see you for an hour if I never ate chocolate again, the chocolate wouldn't stand a chance. If you ever need a kidney, you can count on me. It doesn't even need to be a transplant, it could just be for a project, you could still have my kidney. If I saw you on the beach, I'd probably start running in slow motion involuntarily. You have the ability to make me defy the laws of physics. I might even give up Alan Rickman for you.
You teach me new things every time we talk. If it weren't for you, I would never know that "anyways" is an abusive.
It's kind of pointless to write this though, because you probably already knew all this. I mean, we're engaged for Pete's sake. Maybe you feel the same way, and you're working up the courage to tell me? Maybe you don't feel the same way, but I'm sure there will be a day when you do. I'm like the female equivalent to the best friend in the movies, who the girl always glosses over, until the end when she realizes how sweet and cute and funny he is.
I love you to the end of the universe and back.
Like I love Diet Pepsi.
I love you in a way that makes me ache all over. When I think about you, it's like I've contracted food poisoning, but it's the most wonderful food poisoning in the world.
I hope you feel the same way.
-Sincerely yours,
Ellie.

Please make it stop.

So here's the deal, now.
I am not your friend anymore. You don't get to hurt me like that and still enjoy the privilege of being called my friend. I am too good for you. Both of you.
I really hope one of you contracts some sort of horrible STD and passes it to the other one, and I really hope you get to be as miserable as I feel right now sometime soon.
If either of you call me, I'm going to pretend I don't speak any English, and maybe curse at you in Latvian before hanging up.
And, one more thing, just for the record. If you ever call me selfish, or tell me I'm a bad friend again, I will not take it as well as I did this time.

Please take the following into consideration while living your life:

1. You are NOT permitted to kill yourself. Please refrain from attempting to do so.
2. If, for some reason, you feel the urge to disregard rule 1, you must call me beforehand, so that we can weigh the pros and cons of such a drastic decision.
3. You are NOT permitted to beat up my family members.
4. You are NOT permitted to allow yourself to be beaten. If such an incident occurs, get the fuck out of there.
5. You are required to fulfill your commitments to me, including, but not limited to calling at appropriate times, meeting at arranged times
6. In the event that I have an actual emotional issue to deal with, I do not want to hear about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, the fact that you have to go to work tomorrow, or any other of your 134 reasons to bitch to me about nothing.

Thank you for your consideration,
Management

What a great couple days this has been.
Well, really just the last 24 hours, but my schedules been all screwy, so it feels like a couple days.
Last night I went over to Nels place around midnight and stayed the night. The events of said night will remain locked inside my brain, so as not to spoil them.
I fell asleep at 7, woke up at noon, after apparently snoring and hitting him in the face in my sleep. Yadda Yadda Yadda, came home, spent a few hours here, then went to make chills with my dear friend Fraser. We found spidermans house, and a hobo tunnel that totally stole all our stuff whenever we went through.
It was sweet times, all around.
What'd you do?

    Being the spontaneous person that I am, I went to Elinor's father's place yesterday to play with her rats (named Persephone and Ratticus). I ended up staying to watch So You Think You Can Dance, eating Tofurkey and swiss sandwiches and chips, then passing out on her recliner. Earlier the next morning, we were not awake and thus Elinor freaked out and nearly killed someone. And by someone I mean me. Which would be unfortunate as I appear to be the butt of all her and her father's jokes.
    Now we are at her mother's place. We bought stuff for her rat, stole some chocolate and a drink (being the top notch thief with morals that I am), and saw a movie. 1408 starring John Cusack and Samuel L Jackson. Wonderful movie, based on the short story by Stephen King. The acting was up to par, it didn't need to be particularly brilliant seeing as its horror but it wasn't bad at all. Not once did I stop and think "you need to get smacked in the face" and stick my tongue out at the actor. Lots of jump out of your seat moments, and some twisted moments. An extremely enjoyable experience.
    America pissed me off when they voted to keep Cedric in So You Think You Can Dance. He is a bad dancer, good at hip hop but horrible at the others in comparison to the other dancers. He did not deserve to be in the next round, and he'll bring down the performance of his partner (who is actually brilliant). I hope he is castrated in his sleep.
    Elinor is sulking, and thus I should go. But first I want to express my desire to go to SEED Alternative School in Toronto. Its a brilliant, small alternative school that offers a lot of painting courses and film and the like, plus your normal and more mainstream options. SUCH A FUCKING COOL PLACE.

what a stupid, silly reason to be upset.
And yet here I am.
I should make some more soup, or something.
Maybe I'll wait until sunrise and go for another 15 mile hike.

Okay, I was lying down on the couch, watching television with my dad. A little while went by, and I think we were watching friends, and I decided I wanted a drink. So I stood up, and I took 4 or 5 steps, and i was standing beside my computer, where my dad was, and all of a sudden the television, lights, and computer monitor went off. Oh, and my Dad disappeared. It took me a couple minutes to realize that I had been sleepwalking, and my dad had gone to bed an hour ago.

Creepy.

So this sleeping thing, it doesn't appear to be working out for me, does it?

I think I'm just gonna pull an all nighter and try and sleep at a normal hour tomorrow. Or maybe I'll never sleep again. I wouldn't really mind not sleeping ever again. I can always find stuff to do.






PS: I'm lovesick again.

Man, this is so boring.
I want my sister to call so I know if I have time to go get some more paint.
I painted something I'm somewhat proud of yesterday, although I sort of ruined it.


I was going to post it, but I can't find the picture I took and I'm too damn lazy to take another one.
Just imagine what it looks like.




Very close.
Also, I've been listening to Death Cab For Cutie "I will follow you into the dark" on repeat for like, days. It's so good.

so, i never update my livejournal anymore. Nothing terribly exciting has happened lately anyways with the exception of this wonderfully boring spare I have. There is quite literally nothing to do, and the web blocker blocks facebook. Hmph.
i'm coming  to brampton this weekend, that's pretty exciting. Well, more exciting then sleeping, I guess. My lip piercing almost doesn't hurt anymore, and it's still infection free. :)

I am blonde!
Very, very blonde!
I look very cute, I think :)

Well, Jessica, who I was friends with since grade 2, just informed me that I am too "weird" for her. There was no confrontation, or even conversation beforehand. I said "hi" and she said "I don't think we should be friends anymore" and proceeded to list off reasons, none of which made any sense. Apparently, I'm too wierd, and I have too many "issues" for her. She doesn't even know the half of my issues! 
She said the issues were about my Dad, too. What sort of person breaks up a 9 year friendship because of the other persons family problems?! 
On one hand, I don't care really, I kind of thought she was really stupid anyways, and she was very ignorant of everything going on in anything other then fashion and celebrity life. On the other hand, nobody wants to lose a friend, even a crummy one.
Regardless, I've had a good March Break, and I'm dyeing my hair platinum blonde tonight. Yumm. Last night I went to a party at Trevors house, watched Garden State (I spent the whole time giggling with Alena, so I don't even know what it was about, same with some Greenstreet movie we watched next) then Alena left,and I was jsut me and three guys, and we watched Dawn of the Dead, and I ate too much pizza, had too much caffiene, and learned how to play pool.
I'm not sure what else I'm doing in the next couple days, maybe getting a start on some homework, maybe more visiting of the Cameron and the Androo. Who knows?!